Now, I wouldn’t say I have been weaned off that tendency to having a mind of my own. After all, a man must do his own living and dying. Still, neither am I as unyielding as in those early days. It’s been learning, unlearning and relearning.
I remember too, with undimmed clarity, sublime piece of advices received from those who have gone before in the world of disabilities. “Attitude is everything”, “keep an open mind”, etc. Deep nuggets. However it took years before I began grasping the timelessness of the wisdom in those words. The truth bore home slowly and steadily.
SEEING THE LIGHT
The Federal College of Education, Oyo, (an institution for special needs education) was my baptism ground. There, I had first glimpse of the light which gradually expelled the darkness in me. At Oyo I slowly came to an understanding that life could be meaningful and interesting despite Disability. It came down to attitude. Again, Oyo opportuned me the privilege of a miracle called “sign language”. A miracle I had long despised until it graciously found and rescued me from my wilderness wanderings. As I gained intellection, latitude, and a certain degree of dexterity in this visual language used for communication by the deaf, my perception kept expanding. I began to see possibilities where before, I saw only obstacles. Oyo was where I encountered people, events, and circumstances which challenged my prejudices and myths about living with hearing loss. Suddenly, I realized what great disservice I had been doing myself and humanity by failing to keep an open mind.
Now, I’d be realistic, and not try to paint a romantic portrait of being deaf. Sure, the experience comes with more crosses than could be just wished away. The key to managing this disability (like any other disability) lies in learning to focus on the sunny side – a skill that requires enlightenment and positive attitudes.
Below, I narrate the beautiful experience which inspired this piece.
AN AFTERNOON WITH A BLESSING IN DISGUISE
Every adversity carries within it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit – Napoleon Hill
We sat on the cool, breezy verandah of one of the blocks of classrooms at her place of work on that hot Tuesday afternoon happily chatting away. Blessing was a lady friend from our days at College. I met her through another friend towards the tail end of her final year. The rapport was swift – thanks to her easy-going aura. She was dark-skinned and attractive in it. Slender, petite built, her rather small face bore large, oval eyes, attractively pointed nose and naïve, charming smiles which reveal a fine set of tiny dentition. Her facial and body features blended superbly. Needless to say, I was wowed by this winsome deaf lady.
But what impressed me most about Blessing was the amiable and easy going aura about her. Being deaf and without speech never seemed to bother nor crease her countenance! Cheerfulness and an easy-going personality were her brand.
The last we saw was some two or three years ago, so this reunion came with palpable excitement (the heart, they say grows fonder in absence). Old memories from college were rehashed. We threw hilarious jokes and laughed. Every bit of the moment was savoured. Then, it was time to part. The generous soul that she is, Blessing offered to walk me to the main road and get some light refreshments.
MARKETING THE DEAF BRAND
As we headed towards the gate, we drew curious gazes every now and then. A deaf pair, a beautiful, deaf lady and a young man (both decently attired), and chatting away in an odd, visual language certainly wasn’t a common sight in this community. “A cool pair of love birds”, these stereotypes must have concluded. Anyway, I was enjoying the special attention, give or take. Mulling it over, it still amazes me that just a few years back, I wouldn’t be caught napping identifying as deaf by signing in public. Quite a metamorphosis! Talk about branding Disability.
At the kiosk where we got some snacks and drinks, we struck instant friendships – thanks to this beautiful deaf girl with a great aura that an inability to either speak or hear couldn’t conquer. We didn’t have to pay. A young man we were meeting for the first time insisted on picking our bill. He was bowled over. It was obvious from his reaction that this was his first encounter with a combination of deafness with good looks, polite behavior, and cheerful demeanor in a human being. Guy went on to improvise a way to say: “you are beautiful”. So much for branding.
As we bade each other goodbye that day, my contemplative mind went to work in a bid to make deeper sense of this experience of living with deafness in a predominantly hearing world. I came away with the belief that for PWDs, it hasn’t been all discrimination. My philosophical mindset began to ponder on the many possibilities to be discovered in maintaining a positive attitude, keeping an open mind, and carrying our disabilities with individual originality and confidence.
Yes, living with disability comes with more silver linings than are readily apparent. It’s up to Persons with Disabilities to discover and explore this often hidden truth – which will ultimately set free!